14 August 2023 - How often should we forgive?

Matthew 18:21-22(NLT) Then Peter came to him and asked, “Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?” “No, not seven times,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven!

In this passage, Jesus tells Peter that we should forgive seventy times seven. Forgiveness is at the heart of Christianity.

The Jewish rabbis taught that forgiving someone more than three times was unnecessary, citing where God forgave Israel’s enemies three times, then punished them.

Amos 1:3-5(MSG) “Because of the three great sins of Damascus - make that four - I’m not putting up with her any longer.

Given this background, Peter thought by saying seven times, this would be a great answer. Jesus responded that forgiveness should be offered four hundred and ninety times, far beyond that which Peter was proposing. By saying we are to forgive those who sin against us seventy times seven, Jesus was not limiting forgiveness to 490 times, a number that is, for all practical purposes, beyond counting. Thus, forgiveness is not an option; it is a continuous process, not to be counted at all. As God forgives us, we must forgive.

Jesus even makes it clear how we must pray for forgiveness. Matthew 6:12(ESV) and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.

Forgiveness mirrors the grace of God to others. When we forgive, we demonstrate that we were forgiven. Colossians 3:13(ESV) bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

Why is it, then, that we struggle with unforgiveness?

According to Amanda Rowett, a mental health counsellor: “Unforgiveness is a state of emotional and mental distress that results from a delayed response in forgiving an offender. It is characterised by indignation, bitterness, and a demand for punishment or restitution. Unforgiveness creates a domino effect that negatively impacts every part of us, including our emotions, thoughts, behaviours, body, spirit, and relationships. With unforgiveness, time does not heal all wounds - in fact, time further worsens and infects emotional pain. Unforgiveness is like carrying around a huge weight. The longer we carry a grudge, the heavier the burden becomes. In the absence of a timely response, the roots of unforgiveness only go deeper, further entangling us. In sum, feeding on unforgiveness is toxic. Unforgiveness creates an emotional storm of distress in which feelings of stress, anxiety, depression, insecurity, and fear surface. Unforgiveness also creates a hardened heart. The hardened heart feels anger, resentment, bitterness, and hatred toward the offender. Negative emotions come flooding back when you see the person who hurt you, or when you hear the person’s name. The offense may even have become all-consuming - to the point where you have lost enjoyment in life and lack direction and purpose.”

“Hating someone is drinking poison and expecting the other person to die from it.” – Nelson Mandela

Forgiving someone means giving up bitterness and the right to get even with him or her, even though you were wronged. And God insists on forgiveness not just for others’ benefit but for ours as well.

Decide today to forgive; forgiveness sets you free from bitterness.

I conclude with 1 John 4:20-21(MSG) If anyone boasts, “I love God,” and goes right on hating his brother or sister, thinking nothing of it, he is a liar. If he won’t love the person he can see, how can he love the God he can’t see? The command we have from Christ is blunt: Loving God includes loving people. You’ve got to love both.